By: Adi Balaji

It seems as though the pirate council has unraveled, with director Arwen Yoon being the center of chaos. Upon receiving an anonymous note that called Ms. Yoon “Most likely to play League of Legends”, she went on a rampage calling League of Legends players the scum of the Earth, and that PC players are inferior to console players. This exposes Ms. Yoon’s ‘console-ist’ rhetoric, and should be grounds for demotion, or being fired from the MUNUM staff. She also insulted Genshin Impact and said that she’s a Minecraft girl. This is interesting information considering that the developer of Minecraft, Mojang, has ties to North Korean money laundering syndicates. Is Ms. Yoon secretly a North Korean mafia boss wiring money to the elite of Pyongyang? 

When asked about Ms. Yoon’s opinions about popular refreshing beverage ‘Coconut Water’, water taken from the nut of the coco, Christopher Robin lookalike, Chauncey Seeger, details that Ms. Yoon believes that Coconut Water is an abhorrent, nasty drink that she would never touch. Please note that Indonesia is the world’s leading producer and exporter of coconuts. Remembering that Ms. Yoon has ties to North Korean crime syndicates and that Indonesia’s relations with North Korea have slowly been declining, and that Ms. Yoon has a raging hatred for coconut water, putting two-and-two together, it is safe to say that Arwen Yoon is plotting a nuclear strike on Jakarta, Indonesia, which will be triggering the start of the dreaded World War 3.

As of now it is unknown how much danger Arwen Yoon poses, and the United States CIA and British Scotland Yard are starting a thorough investigation into her family and her activities as MUNUM staff. Delegates, please be aware that she was caught harassing League of Legends players, and caught adding an unknown white powder, suspected to be Anthrax, into many delegates’ coconut water in an effort to curb coconut water sales. Please exercise caution in her presence as she has shown intent to harm.